DILEMMA OF AN (ALMOST) THIRTY YEAR OLD

17:39

29 is the new black when it comes to midlife crisis. In the past week I’ve heard three different women asking the same question of themselves: am I on the right path in life and do I need a change? It really struck a chord.

The road to nowhere in particular
Photo Credit: Milos Milosevic

Maybe it’s the new season upon us. Daylight hours have shrunk away and Christmas is around the corner but with it comes the pasty skin, wobbly bits and plague of seasonal affective disorder that takes over the city once the sparkle of holiday season wears off. 

So naturally everyone is living in the future and wondering where we’ll be when the sun comes back. For me, I’ll most likely be unemployed, with an expired UK working visa. I will also be 30. 

Dun dun dun. 

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone when I say that I am SO not where I thought I would be, staring down the (very short) tunnel to my thirties. Not sure what it is about being thirty in particular but for some reason it's always been in my head as the age at which you should have it together.

I developed the travel bug quite late and thought that by now it would be out of my system, I’d own a house, be married and have a baby or two. Hmmm yeah about that...

In reality I’m living halfway around the world, renting with four others and struggle to make sure I eat enough vegetables let alone care for another human life. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m having a ball and loving where I am at the moment. My trouble is that my head is constantly thinking ahead and wondering what’s next? As we’re on a two year visa over here it’s hard to shake that feeling of being on a time limit. I’m constantly being asked about what our plans are once it runs out and all I can do is shrug and have an internal panic because my life isn’t mapped out past May next year.

Thankfully I now know that I’m not alone and that others are just as restless and indecisive about the future. Unlike me, the women having the same issues are living in the UK permanently with no looming end date in sight so I’ve determined that it must be an age related why-aren't-I-where-I-thought-I-would-be dilemma.

I guess the best way to address it - as I have been gently reminded by my wiser other half- is to take it one day at a time. Stop living in the future and trying to plan because we all know that plans are purely that - plans. They often get thrown out the window and more often than not, that’s when you end up making the best, stupidest, most impulsive and exciting decisions of your life. 

Let me have one last future related panic now though - what the eff do I have for dinner tonight? Seriously, it’s a daily problem. Help.

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